Bad.

Oh so very very bad.

The fast cars are fast.

The high heels are high.

The accents are accentuated.

Some people will be appalled at the thought of destroying a 1.2 million dollar car.

I'm appalled at the thought of spending 1.2 million dollars on a car in the first place.

Do you have any idea how many bus passes you can buy with 1.2 million dollars? You could ride the bus for 1851 years!!! (inflation notwithstanding). And if the bus gets into an accident, they'll send me another one, no charge!

The movie's tagline tells us that this is "the untold legend" of Pathfinder. Maybe there's a reason why it's been untold for the last 1100 years... did they ever consider that?

What is a Pathfinder? You ask. Is it an SUV? Is it a GPS gizmo? No. It's a guy who finds paths. Yeah, I know... not a terribly imaginative name. Someone needs to talk to their PR agent.

This is the story of a particular Pathfinder. As a boy, he was found deep in the wilderness by a woman gathering firewood miles away from her village (wood is really hard to find in a forest). She takes him to her village and decides to raise him as her own. But as he's growing up, the boy becomes aware of subtle differences between himself and the other boys. It's all in the details. He's a bit taller. Bigger muscles. His hair is blond while all his friends' are black. His skin is whiter than his well-tanned friends. Nobody else has blue eyes. He's automatically accepted into the local country club. An entire Hollywood crew has traveled all the way to God-forsaken Labrador to shoot a movie about him... you know... details like that.

As you might have guessed, bleach boy is actually a Viking and by the time he reaches adulthood, he's having an identity crisis. And I can relate. I've been told that my family name comes from one of them Northern European countries (Norway, I think), which means I'm quite possibly a Viking descendant (hey! stop laughing!). But on the other hand... the villagers that are being slaughtered are future Native Canadians. I wasn't sure which side to cheer for. But once the Vikings start slaughtering the natives, I decided to side with the winners. Go Vikings!

Anyway... muscle boy falls in love with the first young woman to get any decent amount of screen time. Normally, I would suggest he shops around a bit, but since she's the daughter of a neighboring village's chief, she's not a bad choice. But before he even gets a bed scene (err... heap-of-bear-skin-on-the-ground scene) the Vikings attack his village and kill everyone while he's out hunting. With the Vikings hot on his tail, he runs to his girl's village. After the chief tells him "Gee... thanks for leading the Vikings here", they all pack up and flee.