Anybody else find it annoying that the content of this window is fixed-width?

 

That big black space over there ----->

is a big waste of pixels.

 

This is a Spike Lee movie?!? It didn’t “feel” like a Spike Lee movie.

 

Very good though. Go see it. If you’re going to see it, then don’t read any further.

 

What we have here is another example of bad guys putting way too much effort toward an overly complicated plan. Also, the story is told with several “flash forwards” that, when combined with the previews, give out way too much information. We figure out “the twist” way too early (but not the guy sitting next to me, apparently).

 

The bad guys know that the odds of robbing a bank and driving away are not very good; so they come up with a better idea. Their plan is to steal something that the owner doesn’t want anybody to know he owns in the first place. So if they manage to walk away with it, the police won’t be after them because they won’t know those items even exist.

 

First part of their plan is to take many hostages and dress them in the same outfits that they, themselves, are wearing. This way, the SWAT team can’t barge in and start shooting because they won’t know who the bad guys are. Not a bad idea.

 

When they’re done with their plan, they intend to walk out with the hostages and the police still won’t be able to tell who the bank robbers are (the hostages never saw the robbers’ faces, but they know there’s four of them). This is where the plan breaks down a bit. The bank robbers disable the bank’s cameras by projecting infrared beams at them. But the police will still have access to the video footage of everyone entering the bank before the robbers came in. By elimination, they could easily figure out who the bank robbers are.

 

Next problem for the robbers is that they can’t walk out with the stolen items. The police will undoubtedly search them thoroughly. Their solution is to build a false wall in the supply room and one of them will stay hidden behind it for a week, after which he’ll simply walk out of the bank with the items. Now why does anyone need to stay hidden with the items? Can’t they just hide the items somewhere inside the bank and send someone to retrieve it a month later? The items are pretty small, it would be much easier to hide them than an entire person. Remember that the police won’t even know about them, so it’s not like they’ll be tearing the place apart to find them. And back to the video footage… wouldn’t the police notice that someone is missing?

 

And why do they spend so much time digging a… ermm… “latrine pit”? A simple bucket would have worked just fine.

Awesome movie.

 

It’s a bit violent, but this is not a dumb action movie. For one thing, even though he wears a solid mask, “V” manages to emote a wider range of facial expressions than Steven Segal.

This is a better guide about dating than "Hitch" was.

It's also a better guide about killing Mockingbirds than "To Kill a Mockingbird" was, which only managed to teach me not to judge a man by his appearance. But what good is that when you have an annoying bird chirping outside your window all night long.

 

I also learned that humans should avoid "nature" as much as possible. This movie shows humans attacked by: a bird, a chipmunk, a vegetarian lizard, and a dolphin.

 

Ladies, even though this movie stars Matthew McConaughey, the only man we see naked is not him.

 

But the real breakthrough character here is Kit, played by Zooey Deschanel. She is so funny. And cute too.

 

After seeing this movie, you’ll be glad you don’t live in that neighborhood. Let’s see…

 

·        Half a dozen drug dealers and dirty cops are shot during a deal gone bad

·        A man who abuses his wife and runs a meth lab is shot by his 10-year-old son

·        A prostitute beats up her pimp

·        A couple repeatedly kidnaps young kids to produce porn

·        A woman shoots the above couple

·        A dozen gangsters kill each other at the local hockey arena

·        A woman commits suicide by blowing up her tool shed (with herself in it)

·        An undercover cop is shot and tries to drive home, slamming the side of every parked car on the street.

 

All of this, in one night!!!

 

And btw, that hokey arena scene will show you why Canadians don’t use guns. It’s just too darn hard to shoot straight while standing on ice.

 

Be ready for a little bit of the old ultraviolence.

 

From the very first scene, we quickly realize the kind of movie we’re in for. Four bowling balls crash through a building and then turn into colour-impaired Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, but with lesser acting abilities.

 

I believe the director wanted to achieve a certain visual style, but he failed. It just looks like bad CGI.

 

The Laws of Physics are away on vacation, so people walk on ceilings and stuff.

The Laws of Common Sense, on the other hand, were taken out back and shot. Characters rarely take actions that are in their own best interest.